I despise that which i once loved, I adore that which I hated mere hours ago. I don't know why.I am irrational. They try to fix me where I am not broken.I want to be satisfactory, to help the ones I love so much, but my attempts fail that doesn't make me mad or upset it makes me want to try harder to fix them where they aren't broken. I don't want to be remembered for the past where I did not know how to live, i want to be remembered for the future i want to have , but i don't know what i want for the future. I should handle myself well by now. I don't believe in myself, that is my downfall. But I am not sure how to believe when all I get are pointers on the bad, not comments on the good;They tell me I should not need that, that I should not care what people say. Fuck them.