Lost in life without guiding light, finding the path they don't want me to take. I despise that which I was told I would love, I adore that which I hated mere hours ago simply because I was bitter for falling into that which I am so fearful. I am irrational, they tell me so and try to fix me where I am not broken. I am drowning in a sea of my own confusion, not sure how to save myself for I never learned to swim. I want to be satisfactory, to help the ones I love so much, but my attempts fail in my dependency, they continue to reiterate. It simply is my nature, unsure of my purpose, no chance in Hell of being listened to without lecture or exasperated sigh. I am remembered for the past that I did not know how to live, not for the future that I hope to improve, for I should handle myself well by now. I don't believe in myself, that is my downfall. But I am not sure how to believe when all I get are pointers on the bad, not comments on the good; I never know if I do better. Perhaps all I need is a hint of the positive. Perchance a bit of support would do me good. They tell me I should not need that, that I should not care what people say. Fuck them.