i've been becomeing more and more depressed over the last two weeks , i've been crying a lot more than lately and just all around feeling down . I've realized that i've been sugar coating a lot of things over the last year. I thought that i was happy and that everything was getting better,but really everything has been getting worse. I can't get close to anyone, all my close friends have drifted away. I feel I have no one to turn too and even if i did i don't know what i'd say.I just can't open up to anyone, i don't know why , I've tried but i just don't trust people because of whats happen in the past to me and to my friends. I feel like shuting myself away from everyone, it just seems that everyone I meet is boring and a clone of everyone else. I feel like getting drunk right now, drowning my sorrows in a drink. I know everywards i'll regret it but the urge is still there. I want to lock myself in my room , lisen to my music and write in my dairy . I haven't written anything in there in awhile. Maybe thats why , writing is how i vent everything, i dunno. I need to change again a year ago i stoped doing drugs and drinking and thought it made me happy but it doesn't so i don't know what to do now. right now i'm gonna go lisen to some weezer , they always have away of making me clam down and be happy.