Log in

No account? Create an account
11:33pm 27/09/2005
Serenity: The Official Movie Website

(in traffic for all eternity)

01:50pm 30/07/2005
  Up late crying , for something I havn't even lost yet. I'm just a little girl who runs away from all my problems instead of looking them in the face and staring them down. I wish I could be stronger than this.  

(in traffic for all eternity)

11:31am 19/07/2005
  Emeinem is retiring from music. Lets hope this is not another britney retirement and he stays retired. I really had nothing against the man until his last album , but it was total shit. All the songs are bad weepy songs or unfunny songs with jokes about Micheal Jackson involved. He just didn't really mature as an artist.  

(in traffic for all eternity)

12:33am 19/07/2005
  Just saw an M&M ad that had an Iron and Wine song in it. I don't really have a problem with the song being in the ad , bands want to make money and thats one way they can do it . It also allows a wider audience to hear their music . It's not that I even like Iron and Wine all that much . It's just thst when I think of candy coated chocolate hippy breads aren't the first thing that comes to mind.  

(in traffic for all eternity)

09:31pm 18/07/2005
  Never update this anymore. I think I'll start now.

I need somewhere to complain about my life in again.

(in traffic for all eternity)

02:57pm 22/11/2004
  I feel great , at this point I think my life is the best it has ever been. I'm having fun , doing alright in school , and mmeeting new people. I'm finding out who I am and what I want . I'm more open with my feeling, not afraid to be myself. I still don't know where I'm going in lfe but at least I'm happy.  

(in traffic for all eternity)

Notes to the 10 most important people in my life   
10:49pm 06/11/2004
  1. I never realized what an impact you had on my life. I still think about you and what I did wrong. I always wonder how things are going for you and if your happy now , or at least happier than when I knew you. I often wonder if you mended things, I always hoped you would.

2. You will never know how much I envy you. I always thought you were one of the coolest people I had ever met. We've drifted apart but your one of those people that I could see in 10 years and we'd still be able to have wonderful conversations. Hopefully I'll see you soon , because I need someone like you in my life.

3. I think we used to be so much a like but we've grown apart in the last couple years. We had a connection from the frist time we talked and that connection still hasn't gone away. It always makes me happy when your happy. I wish I had the guts to live the way you do, even if you don't think what your doing is great I do.

4.I sometimes feel like a barly know you , even if we spent so much time that one year together. You reminded me so much of me and I loved you for it. I always felt that you were smarter than your years and people didn't give you enough credit. You just need to see that you are wonderful and not need someone else to tell you that.

5.I often wonder why I live with you , but so glad that I do. We're oppisites but it works. I've never known what it felt like to be loved by someone until we started to live together. Our late night conversations make me relazie that I've never had a friend I can talk to with as much as I can talk with you.

6.I only met you at the start of this year and already I feel closer to you than anyone I've met well I've been away. You allow me to be myself . You remind me a lot of number 2 on this list except your even more like me. You have shown me that their are people in this world who are still happy and have faith. I need more people like you in my life. You make me want to be a better person and for that I love you.

7. You are like the big brother I wish mine had been. Your always there when I'm bored , to take care of me when I'm drunk or to talk about relastionships with. I love how much fun we have and how you make me laugh. I think we've taught eachother how to have fun again. You will always hold a place in my heart even if wee never see each other once school is finished.

8.You are the meanest , big mouthed , judgemental person I know and I love you for it. You always make me smile and deep inside have a kind heart. Your not my closet friend but thats because we have different lifes and they don't mesh all that well together . I feel like I've known you forever , because it feels like I can tell you everything and you wouldn't be judgemental of me. I hope that next year we have all our classes together again.

9. I love you , you are the single person that always knows what I'm thinking. We know each other so well that we don't even need words. I'm glad of everyone that your the one I keep in contact with. We are so alike and so differet at the same time and that is why we work so well. I know that we will always be friends even when were old.

10. you can make me feel so special and I love it when you do. I'm so glad that we've become friends again and that you I'm worthy of being your friend. No matter what happens in my life your a constant. I won't to see you soon because i miss watching movies with you and having long conversations in your car over ice cream. This summer I feel we got a lot closer . I want you to come visit me like you said you would.

(in traffic for all eternity)

01:05pm 04/11/2004
  I like the idea of us, the concept of two people
The feeling of a finger running down between my breasts tracing an imaginary line
the feel of your 2 day stubble across my nipple as you nibble
the sensation of another human
to know that you exist in that moment only for me and me only for you
that moment is the only time I truly know love
love for the ability to make me feel as if nothing else exists
a cocoon
hibernating from the real world
I want to trap that moment in a jar, like a firefly
to take out on a cold winters day
and feel your hand intertwined in mine ,
sweaty palms and painted nails dancing together
like that night we danced in the pouring rain
when your lips found mine for the first time
we were both drunk with wine and one another
I want to hold on for those moments forever
To make a college on my wall of feelings
to one day , with grey hair and bad eyes
look back and know that my life was a string of moments
moments where the world seemed infinite and I thought i was immortal
to know that there s something more because I found it in your eyes
to know that once I was loved and that I loved
and maybe you'll sit beside , and maybe you won't
but I had you for that shimmering moment
and thats what matters most

(in traffic for all eternity)

01:04pm 04/11/2004
You are the pilot.

Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

I had to post it
it's my favorite book , I can't find my copy anywhere either.
Looks like I'll have to buy a new one.

(in traffic for all eternity)

02:10pm 18/01/2004
  If you stand in a circle
Then you’ll all have a back to bite
Back logged voices on the 7 wonders
We’re all so funny but he’s lost his joke now
A communication from the one lined joke
A stand up comic and a rock musician
Making so much noise you don’t know when to listen
Why are you judging people so damn hard
You’re taking your point of views a bit too far

(in traffic for all eternity)

12:25pm 09/01/2004
  This week has been odd , but good.
I've met some new people. This girl named Jen, who is really cool. I mean we talked for 2 hours and it seemed like nothing. It feels like I've known her forever. Her boyfriend Jesse who is the cutest boy ever is also really nice.
I think I've done more drugs this week than in the last 3 years which is strange in itself. I mean everytime I smoke afterwards I ask myself why I did it, and I can't come up with an answer, other than that it's just there.
I did shrooms for the first time in a long time, I forgot how much they keep you awake. I've been thinking a lot about my sxe years and how they really helped me clear my mind but at this point in my live I want to try new things and get out there and have a good time.

I passed all my classes thank god for that, I really need to start to do more work, I barely did any reading last semester which is not at all a good thing. It's started off well, I'm concentrating more in lectures and taking good notes. I want to do well. I need to do well to get into my program next year. If i can't get into my program I think I'll leave theres no point in me being here otherwise. I'd take a year off find something to do.

(3 cars | in traffic for all eternity)

09:31am 05/01/2004
  This break has been an eye opener of who I can trust and who I can't.
I've realized things about certain people some not nice and some good.
Hopefully when i next come home for longer than a weekend things will be better and I'll be able to get along uneventfully. I'm not sure when the next time I will be here for any peroid of time will be because for my Feb. break I want to get away from here. I need to distance myself from people here and at school.

So my goals are to get a job and save money to go away.
I'm not sure where I want to go, who or if I want anyone to go with me , but the goal is to go. Far or near, whereever as long as it's not here.
Also i want to find myself, this break has made me things about me and other that I don't like and I want to change this. I need to make sure that people know the real me. I'm not sure if a lot of my friends do. This break helped me to realize the couple that do really know me and really care. I know that some relationships from the past are fading but its a good thing because I realize that some of my friends from highschool aren't we I thought they were or have changed to something that I don't relate too anymore. Or maybe they were always that way and I just didn't care to notice because their was no one else to turn to. But new relationships are starting, and I have to make sure that those relationships work and that I don't take people for granted. I need to surround myself with people who I feel comfortable with, who I feel care. I need that to be who I want to be. Right now I go out and come home sometimes and wonder why I ever left my house, because i didn't enjoy myself at all, I want that feeling to go away. I need to start enjoying myself and surround myself with people who allow me to enjoy myself. It's time for me to stop acting like I'm still in highschool, because I'm not and people and things I liked in highschool may change but only because I'm changing and those who really cared will except these changes.

Today I woke up to a new start here, the snow covers everything from the past and is telling me to do the same. Some things happen that made me realize that to get close to people I need to open up . I'm starting and it feels good. It felt good to sit and talk with people, to really talk to them about me about what I feel about things . I no longer sit on the sidelines and watch conversations and people. I join in and allow myself to be myself.

I feel that his year will be a good one. Full of changes but in the end I'll be better because of them. I don't want to completely let go of my past, but just leave the parts I no longer need behind.

(in traffic for all eternity)

12:49pm 18/12/2003
  Liking someone and having them liking you and knowing you can't do anything to further the relationship is one of the hardest things to go though. It just feels like everything could be right. Like we would be perfect for one another. He's everything I've ever wanted in a guy and it's can't work and it just sucks.  

(in traffic for all eternity)

12:31pm 16/12/2003
  An hour and a half and counting until my exam and i can't study anymore, my brain is full.
I'm looking forward to being home but not looking forward to what i have to face. I havn't really been talking to anyone from Thornhill in the last couple weeks since I've been busy here and i really can't make the effort. But I do know that their have been fights between some of my friends. I realyl don't know what went on but it seems that we're never going to go back to the summer where we could all just chill.

There are people I want to see but more people i havn't seen or talked to since the summer. I also want to see Chris because I havn't talked to him since he got kicked out of school and found out that his parents might be moving. Hopefully he can stay in toronto because i would really miss him if he moved away.
Theres just so much to do over the break and I know that I'm not going to do everything I want too.
Mostly I just want to have fun, I need to just forget about a lot of shit and just have fun.

I have also decided that my New Years Resolution is to be more open with people, tell people how I really feel and not put a wall up around myself. I find that i'm starting to be more that way. It feels good to say some things and not care what people are going to think let my emotions show for once. I mean i could care less what people in Thornhill think of me and people here i really don't care what they think of me. I have my friends here and at home and that's all I need.

(in traffic for all eternity)

11:36am 16/12/2003
  After tonight I will done exams.
That is going to be such a good feeling, except right after my exam my dad is coming to pick me up to take me home which means no partying for Danielle. Which also kinda sucks since thursday Justin is having a BBQ at our house and Jesse was going to be there. He has to be the cutest boy i have ever talked too. He is just beautiful, there's just something about his eyess. Too bad he has a girlfriend and is 6 years older than me. Adam also dropped out of school I really can't understand why, he needs about 6 credits before he's done but apparently he was making too much money at the Hard Rock too not drop out of school. It also sucks cause he won't be staying at my house anymore and bringing me food. But he did buy a car which means road trips. We are already planning to go to ottawa in Feb.

And Conan is coming to Toronto, me and my roommates are on a quest to get tickets no matter what it takes. He's been repeats a lot lately which sucks but i mean i need to see conan live.

This was such a pointless entry just wasting time before my frist of 2 exams today.
I can't believe that my last exam goes until 10 tonight. What a werid time for an exam. Fucking stupid UTM.

Oh and my brother got me the new Blink 182 album for Christmas. I got in shit last time i was home because their new video came on and i completely dissed the song. Later my mom was all pissed off at me cause it upset my brother. So she wants me when i get it to act like I like it and than return it. Fuck, people should know not to buy me CDs I don't ask for, their are plenty CDs that I want and would gladly except as a gift. The whole reason behind it was that i used to like blink 182, yeah like 2 years ago. I don't remember the last time I even mentioned them to my family. At least get a band that I have talked about, I even told them I wanted Joel Plaskett and Hot Hot Heat. Okay I'm done complaining about that.

Christmas is in a week and i still need to do my shopping, it's good i only have to buy like 4 gifts. I'm not really going to bother with friends, I'm making them all stuff. Which I should really start, I need to bind the journal at least i already made the cover and cut the paper for it , make more magnets, knit one more hat and make the guitar pick earrings. I think for Sarah I might just make another stencil and she can put it on a t-shirt. I already completely made her one t-shirt so i think this time the stencil is all she's going to get. I also might make one more record journal, but they take awhile to make since you have heat than cut the vinyl and than sand it down, and I don't have and records that i really want to cut up. The other ones a made were of records that i had doubles of.

(in traffic for all eternity)

11:34am 11/12/2003
  fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
david bowie was postponed
now what I'm I going to do tommorow night.. study

(in traffic for all eternity)

10:30am 11/12/2003
  I made a mix tape last night, since i had been studying for a few hours and needed a break. And since I'm indie as fuck and need others to see that the bands that i like are better than the bands they like heres the track listing

les savy fav: :who rocks the party?
blood brothers: :fucking's greatest hits
the yeah yeah yeahs: :tick
minus the bear: :spritz! spritz!
the sounds: :hit me
the moving units: :x and y
liars: :grown men don't fall in the river, just like that
erase errata: :retreat the most familiar
neutral milk hotel: :holland, 1945
the faint: :worked up so sexual
paper lions: :city limits
black eyes: :some boys
the postal service: :such great heights
hot hot heat: :talk with me, dance with me
kaito: :try my out
q and not u: :so many animal calls
freezepop: :get ready 2 rokk
le tigre: :eau d'bedroom dancing
the shins: :kissing the lipless

I don't know if i'll keep said tape since it's not all music i can listen to all the time.I think I might give it to alison since she's cool and likes good music.

Exams suck big time can't wait to come home. Need to make a choice, if the day i come home i want to go see the postage stamps or go see lord of the rings. Now I can go see lord of the rings on the 17th but all my friends are going on the 18th. But i might just tell them to screw off and I'll go dance alone at lee's palece to the postage stamps. Again cause I'm indie as fuck.

I have to say my roommate is so sweet, last night he made pizza for himself and he left half of it without any meat for me. I mean it was really nice of him. I really like my roommates and it sucks that their both done school this year. I would love to live with them next year but I already know that Justin is moving out, and living with just Tom might be kinda odd, plus he's thinking of going to the states to do more schooling.

After my exam today i'm gonna go home(thornhill home) get drunk and sleep in tommorow until it's time for bowie. I really can't wait to see bowie. Plus it'll help me forget about the 2 exams I have on tuesday.

Oh and i missed BSS witch really sucks since Hayden was there but I had an essay due on the friday that i really had barely started. At least i went to rufus the night before. Even if I don't really like his new album, i still think he has one of the nicest voices in music today.

Oh and this girl Helene and I were talking yesterday and music came up and she told me I like boy music. I mean what the fuck is boy music. I listen to music I like, since when has the music you listen to been determined by your sex. So since I'm a girl i should like britney and christina. Fuck off

I think i used fuck way too many times in this entry but it doesn't matter since no one reads this journal.
I like that

(2 cars | in traffic for all eternity)

12:34am 28/11/2003
  it's been over a year since i've written in here
I do have a new journal, but i figure why let this one go to waste.

I dunno things have been pretty good lately. School is nice, different and i like that. I also like being out of the house. Away from everything at home. I really like my roommates. Justin and I have a lot of the same tastes and Tom and I have a lot in common personality wise. I'm really glad i took a chance and moved in with them. I still feel like the baby of the house, but it makes sense since their 23 and 24 but i like that, they've lived and grown longer than i have and are teaching me alot about life. I also I'm meeting tons of new people and have become friends with so many different types of people. I love the fact that a lot of people here don't judge you by the way you look or the music you like, it's refreshing. I miss people at home but I'm close enough that i get to see them fairly often. I think that i needed to move out, get away from everything, it makes me see that everything wasn't as bad as i made it out. It also makes going home that much better, though the fights are still there for the 2 days I'm home i can put up with it.

(1 car | in traffic for all eternity)

04:28pm 07/08/2002
  The truth is not that comfortable
Mother taught us patience
The virtues of restraint
Father taught us boundaries
The knowledge we must go
I'm trying to protect my unity

(1 car | in traffic for all eternity)

12:48pm 16/07/2002
  i'm setting my sights high this time. this time i'm going to succeed, you'll see. say your goodbyes and wave until you're out of sight. the tears drop from the cheeks of all who depart. i'm aiming for the goal, but what exactly is that? to become what i am and my future. it rests on this foundation. it's my life, my destiny. but it isn't free. i will earn what i am to become and to live off that foundation. this is the first day of the rest of my life. and i am not in it for a name or a title. i am learning to be myself and trusting in that. willing to work for that love, the music of my soul. i'm taking it all in and trying to give myself away at the same time. i try not to fall through the cracks but sometimes i slip. everyone does. it is all part of the process. of growing and learning. by learning, i'm growing. and i'm not about to throw it all away for the sake of being young and avoiding responsibility. and i won't turn my back on this. who would i be if i just ran away? i think i'd rather not say. i can't run away. i can't run away... but what if i fall?  

(1 car | in traffic for all eternity)